Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Texas Rules

Rules of Texas :> 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.> > 2. Let's get this straight; it's called a> 'gravel road.' I> drive a> pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you> drive, you're> going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the> way.> > 3. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they> smell like to you.> They> smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?> I-20 and I-10 go> east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.> > 4.. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have> $250,000 cotton> strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.> > 5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called> being friendly.> Try to understand the concept.> > 6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are> coming in, we> WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you> don't have it up to> your ear at the time.> > 7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want> sushi & caviar?> It's> available at the corner bait shop.> > 8. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer> season. It's a> religious> holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.> > 9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women,> regardless of> age.> > 10. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the> menu. Order steak.> Or you> can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of> ham & turkey.> > 11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes:> meats,> vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper,> and Picante> Sauce!! Oh, yeah....We don't care what you folks in> Cincinnati call that> stuff you eat...IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born> and bred in San> Antonio ....and real chili never met a bean!> > 12. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be> brown, wet, and served> over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she> better be cute, know> how to shoot, and drive a truck.> > 13. College and High School Football is as important here> as the Lakers> and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.> > 14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water> hazards -- it> spooks the fish.> > 15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech, Texas A&M or University> of Texas . They> come outta there with an education plus a love for God and> country, and> they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the> holidays.> > 16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and> Marines, than> any other state, so 'Don't Mess with Texas ,'> If you do, you will> get> whupped by the best.> > 17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston> once said:> ' Texas can make it without the United States , but the> United States> can't make it without Texas !'> > Texas is the greatest state ever!! If you are from Texas> you are one bad> hombre!!! If you do not share this with someone in the next> 10 min. you> are not a true Texan!!!!!!

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My reading list

  • Nicholas Sparks; The Choice

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