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Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Things I Learnt living in Texas
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road. 2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas. 3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas, plus a couple no one's seen before. 4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha. 5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words. 6. It is not a shopping cart, it is abuggy! 7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did ya'll go to the bathroom?' 8. People actually grow and eat okra. 9. 'Fixinto' is one word. 10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper. 11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. 12. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.' 13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?' 14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see. 15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASHEM. 16. 'No. Jew?' is a common response to the question 'Did you bring any beer?' 17. You measure distance in minutes. 18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day. 19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal. 20. You know what a 'DAWG' is. 21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car. 22. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony's, Tabasco and Ketchup. 23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports and motor sports, andgossip. 24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. 25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'. 26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas. 27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time know as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World'. 28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather. 29. Fried catfish is the other white meat. 30. We don't need no dang driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive dag-nabbit. 31. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Texas friends and those who just wish they were from Texas.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
We lost Belle; our loyal friend
Yesterday we lost our 11 year old German Shepard Belle. We aren't sure exactly what happened, but we think she must have had a heart attack or aneurysm, something along those lines. We let her out to play and shortly after we found her lying dead on the front lawn. She had not been ill and was in great spirits when we let her out. She was a dear friend and will be dearly missed.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Texas Rules
Rules of Texas :> 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.> > 2. Let's get this straight; it's called a> 'gravel road.' I> drive a> pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you> drive, you're> going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the> way.> > 3. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they> smell like to you.> They> smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?> I-20 and I-10 go> east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.> > 4.. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have> $250,000 cotton> strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.> > 5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called> being friendly.> Try to understand the concept.> > 6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are> coming in, we> WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you> don't have it up to> your ear at the time.> > 7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want> sushi & caviar?> It's> available at the corner bait shop.> > 8. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer> season. It's a> religious> holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.> > 9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women,> regardless of> age.> > 10. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the> menu. Order steak.> Or you> can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of> ham & turkey.> > 11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes:> meats,> vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper,> and Picante> Sauce!! Oh, yeah....We don't care what you folks in> Cincinnati call that> stuff you eat...IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born> and bred in San> Antonio ....and real chili never met a bean!> > 12. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be> brown, wet, and served> over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she> better be cute, know> how to shoot, and drive a truck.> > 13. College and High School Football is as important here> as the Lakers> and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.> > 14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water> hazards -- it> spooks the fish.> > 15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech, Texas A&M or University> of Texas . They> come outta there with an education plus a love for God and> country, and> they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the> holidays.> > 16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and> Marines, than> any other state, so 'Don't Mess with Texas ,'> If you do, you will> get> whupped by the best.> > 17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston> once said:> ' Texas can make it without the United States , but the> United States> can't make it without Texas !'> > Texas is the greatest state ever!! If you are from Texas> you are one bad> hombre!!! If you do not share this with someone in the next> 10 min. you> are not a true Texan!!!!!!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Is it just Me.................????
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Just a another day in Paradise...................
The problem with women today.............
Written by my friend Mike; Amen Mike!
Would you like to know what the problem is with the 21st century woman? All you need to do is look at the 21st century man. We as men have created 90% of the issues that we have with women and how they act. Women are born with attributes like being loving,caring,compassionate, and comforting just to name a few.What we as men have done with all the games we have played throughout the years is cause them to build these walls of mistrust around their hearts. I know most men will never admit this but we have taken the great ways of a woman for granted for years and it needs to stop now. Let me give you an example of the 21st century relationship, when men get involved we try to be everything a woman wants right up until we get content that we have her. In the beginning we will come in and go to her with a hug and a kiss, most of the time saying something like "I missed you today or Baby you mean the world to me”. now lets jump forward about 3 months, we come in and go to the couch and sit our asses down and say something like "is supper done yet”. Think about it guys, when you want to say that she is the one that has changed maybe you should ask yourself how much you have changed. For a woman little things that we do are more of an example to her of our true feelings about her.
When you’re asking yourself why she has lost her sex drive because things were really hot and heavy at first, maybe it's because you've stopped making love to her. Let me guess, most of you guys aren't real sure what I’m talking about since you think making love is a "physical" thing right! I would like to inform you that you "make love" to a woman form the time you wake up until you close your eyes to go to sleep. You do it by all the little things to make her happy just like you did in the begining.Don't think that doing these things and showing her how you really feel makes you any less of a man. A real man knows what is important and when you get that part figured out you won't be asking what the hell happened to your relationship.
I would like to end this with the only true advice I know to give. If you think back to the beginning of time when God created Adam it didn't take him very long to realize that we weren't going to last very long by ourselves, so then God GAVE us Eve. If somebody gives you something it is considered a gift right. So all I know to say is "TREAT HER LIKE A GIFT FROM GOD CAUSE THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you’re asking yourself why she has lost her sex drive because things were really hot and heavy at first, maybe it's because you've stopped making love to her. Let me guess, most of you guys aren't real sure what I’m talking about since you think making love is a "physical" thing right! I would like to inform you that you "make love" to a woman form the time you wake up until you close your eyes to go to sleep. You do it by all the little things to make her happy just like you did in the begining.Don't think that doing these things and showing her how you really feel makes you any less of a man. A real man knows what is important and when you get that part figured out you won't be asking what the hell happened to your relationship.
I would like to end this with the only true advice I know to give. If you think back to the beginning of time when God created Adam it didn't take him very long to realize that we weren't going to last very long by ourselves, so then God GAVE us Eve. If somebody gives you something it is considered a gift right. So all I know to say is "TREAT HER LIKE A GIFT FROM GOD CAUSE THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, October 3, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
This can't be good..............
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- Nicholas Sparks; The Choice